White Trash

The other day I walked Huey for the first time in a while and noticed more litter than usual by the roadside. I am not sure what possessed me to snap photographs of every piece of trash up and down the ridge, but I did. I took 59 photos. Here are a few:

At first I thought I might post a photo of everything people had tossed out their car windows, but decided against it because it would make this blog too long. Instead, I used them to analyze and profile the habits of the resident redneck litterers. Some findings such as the beer cans, soft-pack cigarette wrappers, and Slim Jim wrapper were to be expected. Others such as the pumpkin seeds and V8 juice container were not.

Here are the highlights of my modern-day archeological expedition:

• Beer drinkers are the worst offenders.
• Bud Light is the beer of choice, judging by the five cans and one bottle cap I found.
• Natty Light, Budweiser, PBR, and Michelob Ultra scored only one point each.
• Smokers are the second-worst offenders.
• Marlboro is the smoke of choice, as evidenced by the five crumpled wrappers I found.
• Camels are the second choice with only one wrapper in the mix.
• Soft packs rule.
• One empty round of Grizzly chewing tobacco.
• McDonald's beat out Taco Bell in the fast-food category, and surprisingly, Sonic didn't have a showing.
• In the soft-drink category, Coca-Cola and Mountain Dew tied with two showings each.
• Two empty water bottles.
• One BP coffee cup.
• Minute Maid Orange and V-8 also tied at one each in the juice division.
• In the snack food department, there was one each of Slim Jim, pumpkin seeds, a Power Bar, Snickers, a Sponge Bob patty, Doritos Nacho Cheese, and salted peanuts.
• Under miscellaneous was a pile of junk mail under a mailbox and a phone book.
• One electronics ad.
• One empty live bait package.
• One piece of aluminum pipe.
• One strip of nylon package binding.
• One Matchbox racer.
• One Kong squeaky tennis ball for dogs.
• One marker for a begonia plant.
• Several used tissues, straws, Styrofoam cups, plastic wrap, and a dried wet nap.

Surprisingly, no condom wrappers or spent condoms were found on this expedition. Although three coat hangers were found clustered together, which hopefully were not used as methods of de facto birth control. But you won't catch me complaining if these people stopped breeding altogether.